Embarrassing to admit but I used to spend my time imagining what the man God brings into my life will be like. I’d think of all the things we would possibly do, I’d picture myself waking up to making breakfast while I sip on my coffee. The gatherings we’d hold in our home. Yes I still want it all, but somewhere throughout these last couple of years it just vanished from my thoughts. No I didn’t let my hearts desire go but in the midst of the times I thought I met the one, only to see the reality of it sooner or later, I simply gave up. I gave up on looking, I gave up the search, I’m learning to put my trust in the Lord. At the correct timing, we will meet, no forcing the meeting, having to arrange when and where, no not this time. I’m sure God knows exactly what it is I need and when. Right now he needs me here, spending time with him and healing. I am being restored of what I’ve lost in myself, not the old self destructive habits but the good in me that slowly and silently hid away.