How I Feel About It Works

It was about two years ago I believe that my sister decided to join the business of It Works. Everything seemed fine at first, I was excited to see what changes it would bring for her, financially and health wise but it turned out to be completely different to what I expected.

I was always skeptical of it and that’s one of the things they mention about those that are hesitant of joining but eventually I did because I wanted to help my sister. I’m not a fan of how the people in the company work, now I don’t have full knowledge of how each person handles their business but so far it has left a bad taste in my mouth. I’ll be completely honest though, the only products I’m fine with using would be the greens, wraps and defining gel. I’ve seen results on my sister but we both know that it takes more than just products to not only have results but to actually keep them. Many times when someone introduces me to anything new when it comes to taking for my health, I automatically say no, first explain to me what the ingredients are and even then I’ll most likely still decline because we can be getting told one thing when in reality it’s another. This is not only towards It Works but any other company that offers similar products to lose weight. I think promoting healthy eating, healthy habits and exercise would be the first way to go but taking pills to block calories is just not for me. I know it might seem as if I’m completely trying to make the business look bad, I know it has perks to it and it is definitely a huge help to have income coming in. I only hope that the people choosing to sell it are really doing their research as to what they are putting in their bodies and also trying to convince others that they need. I was easily influenced at first with it being labeled as natural but I don’t believe all the products are as natural as they state they are.

My next point is to how some of the people go about it when they want to post on social media why they chose to join. Don’t get me wrong I know it helps with those who have no choice at the time but to work from home. What I don’t agree with is how they can state that someone who works a 9 to 5 job is unhappy, I know it’s possible but it’s not the same for everyone. It’s not because they are afraid to join, afraid of changes or don’t want to work hard or whatever other reasons they may have. Everyone has a purpose, it’s simply something they don’t want to do and it can’t be forced upon them. Many people are happy where they are at and being able to stay at home making money isn’t the ultimate goal in life. They put their trust in God in leading them to where they need to be, where he wants them to be, not what someone else is saying is best for them. Now why would God be brought into this blog you might ask. A while ago the woman who signed my sister up is a very ambitious person and I know she wants to work hard to support her family, which is why often she would ask my sister how is her business going, seeing as how that benefits her as well. My sister Nancy, has different priorities at the time and unfortunately the other distributor was upset and rather than being understanding she kept stating excuses were being made when in reality it wasn’t the case, it just wasn’t for my sister. Now keep in mind I mentioned I don’t believe all the products are natural and my instinct was right. The other distributor and my sister were having a conversation when all of this went down. Completely out of the blue my sister was questioned on her beliefs and stated she was a Christian. I was in shock when the woman replied “Okay, never mind I see now why you don’t want to do it.” Of course my sister was curious as to why she would say that and it was because one of the products I believe or it could be more, can cause a serious illness and as soon as I find out which one, I will definitely post another blog about it or share it on the comments to this one. Christian or not, I don’t see why any company/human being would even want to sell something that can hurt someone. I know that there are many things going around in the world that can be just as dangerous which is very unfortunate. With many things going around, why add more to the mix? I never made one sell when I joined and I didn’t keep paying to have my account running. I don’t have a passion for it, I only joined to help my sister out which didn’t really make a difference seeing as how we both started putting our interest towards what we really love to do. I love blogging, even though I fall of the grid many times. I don’t know why but I always felt that when I blog it’s not just because I want to find something random to post about but because it holds meaning to me and I feel it’s something that needs to be made known.

God Bless ❤

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Trying To Make Sense Of It All

My mind has been on overload to the point of being speechless. I don’t know where to begin when I am trying to express myself nor do I know what it is exactly that is bothering me. I’m trying to make sense of it all but it feels as if I keep hitting a brick wall. I’ve found myself getting close to God only to begin questioning when will certain things happen and in those moments, I begin to go about my own way which I know is never good to do.

Ever since I can remember I’ve struggled to find my purpose, I know I want to make a difference but it seems at times that when we try to do good we are fought by the enemy even more. The attacks can either be mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually, I’m sure there are many ways. As for me it’s usually all of those four and I am exhausted but I will not stop fighting back and I will not give up. When I was young I never really held a job for long and now that I am in a different state of mind I can’t seem to find one. I see myself working, I see myself writing a book but when it doesn’t happen I wonder what does God want me to do. I know for a fact that book has been in my heart since before I was even 15, I can’t seem to get away from the thought of it and I truly do believe I’m meant for it. The only thing is that I have things I need to take care of and I know in the bible God says he will care for us we simply need to trust him. When I was younger I had an easier time actually letting things be but now it feels as if there’s urgency behind it, like I need to get it done now and the fact that it’s not happening is a little discouraging but I know that is far from what God wants. His ways are not our ways and I need to stop trying to control things or even having expectations, then how will I leave room for him to work. I pray to God to give me a clean heart heart and renew a loyal spirit within me, that is where I stand right now in my life.

Light

The love in the light brings peace over me that I never knew. All so very new to me, can’t compare to anything. God there is no one like you who sees right through me, even in the days that I was lost you took the time to reach out. How could I have wandered so far away from your truth. All through these years I was fighting to hold on to my faith, at times I was certain I took a loss but through your great given grace you turned it around for good.

Giving Yourself Before Marriage

In my younger years I held it close to my heart to never give myself before marriage but that went out the window when I was 17. It might seem odd to others that I’m here sharing this but I rather be open about the truth as a Christian and where I stand now in this walk, which is still somewhat new to me.

I’ve been on the receiving end of questionable looks when I mention that I am not comfortable dating around more than one person at the same time. Though I do not owe anyone any explanation I choose to share this in hopes that it might help someone else to know that they are not alone. I’ve lost count as to how many times people tell me that I should date around and as close as I’ve been to taking that poor advice I am thankful I did not. At 17 I remember my first so called boyfriend, he was older than I was and I was also old enough to know better but I still went along with it. After that happened, we probably kept seeing each other for a little more over a year but eventually we completely stopped talking to one another. I was clueless as to why but of course some time after that I found out that he was already in a serious relationship and he had a kid. I don’t really recall me being hurt when I found out, I was actually more disappointed as to why he couldn’t just be honest and why he would even take it as far as introducing me to some of his family when we were clearly not in a position to take such a step. As a youngster I was also confused because he considered himself to be a Christian, that is when I started to have preconceived notions about what they are truly like but I didn’t know any better. Now I understand that it’s one thing stating that you are and another to fully commit yourself to walking in obedience and I know because I am still learning. Whether we think we have knowledge or not, it means nothing when you make the wrong choices but thankfully no one is too far off to ask for forgiveness until it is time for the Lord’s return, why take the chance in putting off that choice longer?

I am 27 years old now and it was only about two years ago that I began to fully get a grasp of the reality that I gave myself before marriage. I’ll admit I broke down because it truly hit me not only for the fact that I let that promise to myself go but again I found myself dating someone and making the same mistake. Personally I’ll never say that he was a mistake but the decision I made was, I don’t believe in putting blame on anyone but yourself when you are not being held against your own will, I did it freely. In those moments I tried to justify each time I did it but eventually something did not sit well with me. Not only did I have to walk away for myself because of that very reason but knowing that we both faced temptation each time was tough. As I think about it I ask myself why would I want to be partly responsible of taking that away from him when God made someone specifically for them. I could’ve made a thousand excuses as to why I made the decision to let go but deep down I know this was the reason. As crazy as I may sound to others this is my belief, I believe in saving yourself for marriage. Think of how much more special and pure it will be. You can be told that those types of relationships aren’t possible anymore but have faith, they most certainly are.

Many people are carefree and I’m not saying I don’t know how to have fun or anything but when it comes to dating, I take it seriously and I know I’m not the only one. I’m no one to judge and I am not but I always wonder how is it that so many people can go through with it and feel like everything is fine. God made sex for marriage, defiling your bed is not worth it. Truth be told for me there was emptiness because I wanted more, God made us to love so it is only naturally to want to love and be loved but that is not possible when you are giving yourself to someone that God did not intend for to be your husband/wife. You can say we are human, it is natural for us to have needs but the real fact is that yes we do have them but they should only be fulfilled within marriage. I will add this as well, I believe that two people who end up getting married after sleeping together can still come to God and state their short comings because we all have them. I’ll leave it at this statement because I don’t fully know everything and never will I claim that I do, at the end only God can judge us and even if we think we have it all down right it is only him that truly knows the purity of our heart. My words are shared to let others know there is nothing wrong with waiting on God’s timing, when we rush we take the risk of running into something that may not be for us. Let God reveal to you what’s best rather than trying to make decisions based on what you’re feeling because truth be told, our feelings are not always on point.

Proverbs 23:9 – “Do not speak to fools, for they will scorn your prudent words.”

Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage is to be honored by all, and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

PenPal

Clearly having a pen pal was not something I had in mind years ago. Especially because it’s someone I used to have a crush on in high school, funny thing though is now I can’t quite remember why I did. He’s not a bad person, just someone who makes mistakes as we all do. We learn as we go in life and unfortunately he’s in prison, trying to do his best so he can come out and be with his kids. I met him through my best friend, from then on we just said hi and bye, a smile here and there when we saw each other, that’s about it. Eventually I found out he was a very close friend of my brother in law and the first time I saw him come around the house, I was like here we go again with this crush.

There I was most of the time just waiting to see when he would show up to hang out with my sisters boyfriend, since he was already living here, I’d get all dressed up and find an excuse to go outside, I didn’t know any better back then. I don’t recall when I told my sister that I thought he was cute and of course she went on and told her man, let’s just call him Jr. Afterwards anytime he’d come around they’d always pick on me about it. I don’t know why but sooner or later I found myself falling for him even more which I didn’t even have a reason to, I just thought then whatever I felt at the time was legit. One morning we heard he ended up getting shot at and he was in the hospital fighting for his life, I cried for days and I kept on praying to God to bring him through this, sure enough he did. The day I saw him show up walking up our driveway with crutches I started to cry and I was so happy to see him, but I still couldn’t bring myself to tell him anything. Even now just looking back I feel so dumb over the whole situation because I mean it’s not like me and him were ever anything, we just happen to know the same people. He ended up staying with us for a while, in the back house we had rebuilt for my sister and brother in law. I was glad that I got to see him everyday, he’d always say what’s up just being kind. Sometimes he’d bring my sister and I some iced coffees seeing as how he knew we loved them so much.

There was this night that my cousins had invited me to a party and I remember I tried to get ready as fast as I could so I can step out before he left, but I didn’t make it. That night I had so much to drink, I cried over how messed up I felt that he wouldn’t look my way, I swear the fact that I’m even sharing this is a little cringing for me. My cousins were trying to calm me down, telling me that I can do better and these were the years that I had low self esteem. As weeks went by Jr. started telling me that he did like me and he did wanted to talk to me but he’s a player, I didn’t need for him to tell me that because in a way I already had a clue. It never got to us talking though, my brother in law and him ended up getting into trouble that had them both sent away. They were in the same place for a bit doing time, that’s when he wrote to me and professed his feelings for me, which I’m like now you want to say something, I wonder why but I never mentioned that to him or anything. The first letter he sent me he would draw roses on it, stars, the moon because he knew I was into all of that. He sent me a poem asking me to be his girl aside from regular letters, a bracelet with my name on it and drawings. Don’t get me wrong, I did love the drawings and the bracelet but that was a newsflash moment for me. My cousin even told me that the times they would all hangout he never heard him mention me or that he liked me, why now and that he didn’t like him for me as well. I thought to myself, he’s my cousin, he’s looking out for me but I can make decisions on my own. My answer to him asking me to be girlfriend was no, I couldn’t see myself with someone that I never had the chance to get to know on a personal level and I also don’t see myself waiting on someone when I don’t even know how he’ll treat me later on down the line. From then on we just kept writing to each other, he admitted to me that even his mom told him not to expect her to wait on you, when she didn’t even put you in this situation you’re in and he agreed. Throughout all of this though I can say that I’m glad we did end up writing to one another, it’s different from the usual at least for me. It’s nice knowing that you can show encouragement to someone when they need it and he’s been helpful himself. Completely different to everything I thought it was when I was in high school but I’m thankful that he’s alive and trying his best to do better now. Life really is unpredictable but we do have the choice to put our faith in God rather than leaning on our own understanding which is what I very often did in my younger years. One thing I have learned from all of this is to never let your feelings get in the way of doing something kind for someone else, you never know what difference you will make.

Patience

For as long as I can remember I have struggled in being patient. Patient for life, patient for love, patience for anything I look forward to see happening. I know some things we simply can’t rush and some things we do have control over, after all God gave us free will but I always find myself praying for discernment. You see I know what exactly it is that I need to have patience for but right now I can’t help but to wonder what is my purpose. There’s moments when I feel so sure of what it is that I want to do but I feel as if there’s something else for me but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I definitely enjoy blogging and writing yet what can I make out of it, for who will it make a difference for. This morning I woke up to my morning cup of coffee, my sister went to go get some breakfast for us and then we put in some home videos we haven’t watched in a really long time. We had to put the videos on hold though because my niece and nephew were running all over the place, now my sister is on her laptop, working on her business and here I am blogging. I wanted to blog today but then again I didn’t, sometimes I don’t see myself blogging so randomly just because but then it hit me, I can express myself seeing as how I know I’m not the only one that might be feeling this way and just maybe it’ll help someone out there or maybe I’ll come across something that’ll help me in putting things back into perspective. You ever feel like you’re just running out of a time? I mean I know we are but I want to make the most of it but where do I start? I find myself patiently waiting for God to reveal my purpose to me in a way that I’ll be able to understand, no questions asked whatsoever. There’s no doubt to me that he sometimes speaks to me in my dreams, somehow I find myself patiently waiting for him to show me there, what my purpose is. There’s nothing normal about either one of us, we are all unique one way or another, therefore I truly do believe that I am not meant to simply settle, I believe God wants us to prosper in a way that glorifies him. Until then I must gently remind myself to walk by faith not by sight, regardless of where I’m at now or how it looks like I need to trust him to lead me to the right place at the right time with the right people.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.

By Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

My Testimony

Years ago I never would have guessed that God would bring me to this night, peacefully and quietly sitting in my room as I blog. We all think at some point we know what’s best for us but we really don’t, if anything God knows much more and that is for certain. He knows us better than we know ourselves and I highly doubt I would be happy right now had he not changed my life around, truth be told had he not I probably would have not been here at all.

Let me rewind to some time back and give you a recap of who and how I was. I want to say I was about 14 to 15 years old when I started to become someone who I wasn’t and I say that because looking back I can honestly say I feel as if I was someone else who wasn’t in control of their own actions. The way I spoke, the way I handled myself, the self destructive habits I had, the way I treated my parents and the list goes on. Here’s how my decisions brought me to where I am now.

I’m not against those who choose to smoke marijuana, for one I am not one to judge but besides that I used to smoke constantly and by constantly, I mean every day. In the morning when I would wake up, the first thing on my mind was to go outside, smoke one and enjoy the view of the sky and my surroundings. I would go straight to having my coffee then off to roll one up, that’s if I hadn’t already done it the night before. An hour or two would pass after me waking up and there I would go again, the afternoon, the evening and right before it was time to go to sleep. I know many say that being high makes you see the beauty in things all the more, it’s as if you take a look at everything around you and realize things you would have not before, I know that all too well. Some might say it helps with the pain, the depression, the emotional hurt you’ve experienced over the years, it’s as if it’s the only thing that makes you forget. I can say it was the same for me when it comes to drinking, only I wouldn’t do it everyday but once the weekend would come around there I was gathering up my money, ready to go get me a dub (20 dollars worth of weed), my blunts and my 40 oz beer, every now and then I’d switch it up to a Four Loko. I know so many details right but then I wouldn’t be completely honest if I don’t share it all, now before I go on, I was probably 15 when I started to smoke up until the age of 17 or 18 is when I started to drink, most of the time we wouldn’t even get asked for our I.D. In my teen years I mostly spent my time smoking and walking around the neighborhood staying high and hanging out in alleys. My mom of course didn’t like it one bit, she would want to know where I’m going, with who, what time will I get back and many times I did not listen to her when she wouldn’t want me to go out and that was pretty much all of the time. Occasionally she’d throw comments at me, of how I’m going to get home with my eyes all red, not doing anything with my life, you’re always going to be like that, she was tired of me and she never did tell my dad about the things I did just that I wouldn’t listen. My dad was always temperamental, as a kid I felt like there were times when he didn’t even have a reason to be mad but I suppose it was stress from work. As I got older he knew I was failing in school, there was a point where I had to go to continuation school and he had to take me. Right when we showed up, there were kids smoking in front of the school and my dad lifted his hand up towards me with anger, he didn’t even bother walking in the school, he just told me to get in the truck and once we got inside he started cursing left and right. He refused to let me go there and one way or another, he told me to get it together at my actual school and I tried my best. That didn’t go so well, to me at the time it was just a piece of paper, it doesn’t mean anything and besides that I honestly couldn’t stand school. It wasn’t because it was the fact that I had to learn, take tests or do homework or anything like that. I would look around and hear certain conversations and just knowing that there were so many things going out in the world, I couldn’t help but to get frustrated of how some people placed so much importance on drama, and who said this or that, I literally felt unhappy, at home and knowing that the ones I considered friends then I just couldn’t relate to.

It’s my 18th birthday, you know what that means off to get high and drunk. At the time we had a friend who we would always join to go cruising, yes there we go driving while smoking and drinking. I don’t really remember how it all began, I just know that eventually we found ourselves going for drives almost every weekend and through out the week we’d mostly go to a friends house and stay high, hanging out in front of her house. Sometimes we’d go to the beach or to the park, even take naps in the car. I still recall a time when we chose to drink Ciscos, that’s 18% alcohol and not only did I drink mine but I finished the ones belonging to my friend and cousin. I have little flashbacks every now and then of them helping me walk, telling my friend to slap me so I can snap out of it and she did. That’s one out of two things that happened that night which make me laugh but I also remember me opening the door on the freeway, who knows how fast my friend was driving. Thankfully I had my seat belt on but that doesn’t make it all the more better, I was trying to get off when all I remember is my friend screaming at me yelling Patty and grabbing me by my shoulder and slamming the breaks, the rest was a blur. I don’t know what time it was but the last thing from that night that I recall was getting dropped off at my cousins house, them letting me borrow some pajamas, my cousin trying to help me and all I kept telling her was not to touch me. I’m thankful that they were helpful, even though I was trying to get violent she kept assuring me I’m not doing anything I’m just trying to help you and even though it wasn’t the prettiest moment in my life, it’s nice to know that me and her can just look back at that little moment and laugh it off. This self destructive habit of mine continued right up until the age of 23, through out all of those years as well I developed gallstones obviously because of all my unhealthy choices and yet I still went on with the things I did. Sooner or later I was bound to end up in the hospital, even though I thought I wouldn’t but that was just me and foolish thinking. That night hit me unexpectedly, I simply thought I was bloated and I was at home trying to find remedies. I recall me boiling water, adding cinnamon and that just made everything worse. My insides literally felt like I was being inflated with gas, honestly that’s the only way I know how to describe it. It was days of me feeling like that but I had no idea what was really going on until that night I just knew something wasn’t right and I wanted to go to the hospital. As soon I got there, sorry for some much information but I began throwing up non stop, my eyes were yellow and I was weak. Immediately they took me in and starting drawing blood, taking my temperature and of course my mom right beside me through out all of it after all the hurt I caused her in my younger years, it made me realize how selfish I was. A little time went by, the nurse came and he told me that my pancreas was inflamed. What really got to me was that he told me that I went right on time because it could have gotten worse and it could have been fatal. They informed me that I had to stay in the hospital for about three days, which felt like the longest days of my life, I was ready to leave. One of those nights I was sound asleep and I suddenly woke up with a panic attack, I felt trapped, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe I just wanted to unhook myself from that monitor and walk out. I called home, maybe half an hour passed by and my dad shows up, he was telling me to calm down. He was reminding me that I’m there to get better, that I had to stay for as long as I needed to until everything was good so I can be healthy to get back home to my nephew. He was the first one to be born in the family by my sister and he means everything to me, that was enough for me to hear so I can really get it together. Finally the doctor showed up letting me know that I was good to go, that they had to get some paperwork ready for me to sign and I would be out. That took all day, I thought it was going to be quick but we waited there until the night, eventually they showed up and they sent someone up with a wheelchair. I felt pretty good to walk but they had a policy in case of anything I guess they don’t want to take the chances of anyone falling and that resulting among other things. I felt so happy to be home that night, it made me appreciate being there all the more compared to when all I did was be out on the streets. As days went by I was expecting all the ones that I would talk to more often to come see me or at least ask how I was doing, I got a few messages here and there but it’s as if I blocked that out and wondered where are the rest, the ones I thought I mattered to. At the time I didn’t know any better, I just know that I was completely hurt and I didn’t want anything to do with any one what so ever. I fell into complete depression, most of my days I’d spent in my room watching movies, crying my eyes out, I’d stay up until 5 in the morning at times staring up at the ceiling and just thinking. What got to me as well, was that I found myself in the same place. That wasn’t the first time I dealt with depression, only in my younger years I would do self harm, to this day I still have a small scar that reminds me that I’ve come a long way. In those years I thought I would never come out of it, I had no idea what I was doing, what I was going to do with my life, I was completely lost.

I wish I could remember the exact day and year it all changed for me, but I am just thankful to God that it did. I don’t want to say it was just some random day, I believe it was the day God appointed on his time for him to lead me to him. I was in my room, crying, thinking, you know what I was just so used to doing and my tears just completely went away. It was as if I was never crying, my tears just dried up and I sat up, looked towards a small night stand I had and there a book was, called The Daily Bread. I stood up, grabbed a hold of it and I felt complete peace come over me, I know to some that just doesn’t make any sense but there is no doubt in my heart that God made himself known to me on that day. I began to read, all I could do was smile, all the mistakes I’ve ever did, all the pain I went through just didn’t matter to me, what mattered to me was that God forgave me and I had a fresh start. Some people ask me why do I speak of God so very often, some might even wonder why does she speak of him, after all they know how I was back in the days and my answer, he was there when no one else was. You see to me God’s power is so strong that he doesn’t have to be in a room physically to make his presence known or felt. He can change whatever he wants, whenever he wants and that was the day he called me to him and I’m forever thankful he did. After that day, I admit I would feel some type of way every now and then, I still had to reach for that book to help me calm down and it always did. Eventually I wanted more, so I started to look up free resources online so I can receive little things, similar to The Daily Bread and some DVD’s. I think I started to see more clearly compared to all those others years, I was actually taking my time to heal rather than numbing it and suppressing it with alcohol and staying high. It was the first time I really began to understand not only myself but others and my surroundings are even more beautiful with a clear mind. My dreams from then on became even more interesting to me and it brought me even more confirmation that I was on the right path. I would dream of something evil chasing me, I ran into my house and it became a church. I had a bag in my hand and started putting in crucifixes before whatever was after me caught up. In another one, I was being lifted into the air and I started being pulled between two different forces, one good and one bad. Of course I know that whatever mess I was into then was trying to pull me back but it didn’t succeed. The one dream though that I love, even to this day it still amazes me, was that I found myself standing in a field and it was a warm sunny day. Suddenly this giant white dove, probably the size of an airplane maybe even a little bigger, flew right above the field. To the corner of my eye I noticed more people around and we all just stood there, with this look of awe. The feeling I had was this huge warm wind flow through me and around me and I’ve never felt as safe as I did then. Ever since then I never doubted God is real, some people still question his existence, some don’t even bother with wanting to know. I’ve heard directly from some peoples mouths that they don’t believe in him, cursing at him, taking his name in vain. I’m not going to lie, I do get upset when people say what has God done for me, but how can we expect to receive anything without being thankful of what he has already given us. Yes some days we have to look a little harder because we all know life gets hard at times but God provides a way out in the end. In the moments when I realize my anger is creeping in, I have to remind myself that regardless of what others do or say we have to pray for them. The same way God forgives us, the same way he gives us chances even when we are not worthy is exactly what we should do for others. I always say this though when it comes to giving chances, it’s unfortunate that some people truly do take advantage of the fact that you will always be there but there will come a time when you have to pray for the strength, discernment and wisdom to know who and what to stay away from. That is when you keep a distance and just pray for the ones who bring nothing but pain and trouble. Many of the problems I’ve had in my past was because I would associate with the wrong people, you know the ones who would twist your words around, the ones who would start certain conversations on purpose knowing the intentions they had. I’m not saying this to point fingers at anyone, no this is what happens when you are not discerning of the people you surround yourself with and with the choices you make. There is a way out, you’re not going to find it at the bottom of a bottle and pass times that make you forget rather than facing things directly. You have free will so change what you can, whatever you’re tired of, all things are possible through God. Never did I ever see myself where I am today with the aspirations that I have now. I give all glory to God because I know all of this was made possible because of him, not because of anything I said or did. I am happy knowing that I don’t want the things from before, I’m happy I am not in the same state of mind I was back then. Now let me give you the truth of me to this day, no I am not perfect, yes I still fall from time to time, I still struggle but God is forever faithful. You see people have the tendency to just change up on you but God remains the same, he is the same yesterday, today and forever. He lifts me up and I know he will do the same for you if you seek him, but remember as well just don’t seek his hand over your life, seek him fully, his heart as you would some one here who you genuinely love and care for, do the same for him. It cannot be all take and no give, that would be selfish of us after all he did for us, for our salvation. I made it to 27 years of my life and I give praises to God for it, because not only I am happy and clear minded, living my life but I’m ready to serve him and to share the good news. I am ready to surrender my plans for his. I truly hope this encourages someone even if it is just one person or two, I pray your faith grows and I pray God shows up for you to show you there is more for you, not just where you are now. God Bless! ❤