Not How I Thought It Would Be

Life doesn’t always go the way we expect it to. I’ve known that for years yet for some reason it’s like I can’t stop trying to control what’s beyond my control. I don’t understand why I keep doing it but at the same time I do. Part of me wants everything under my control just so I won’t get hurt, I don’t like heartache but who does, it’s inevitable but I wish it were possible to avoid it at all times. I’ll admit though I’ve learned so much, obviously more than I would have if I didn’t face any heartache, opposition, depression and just hard times overall. Over the years I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do but never really bothered to ask God what it is he would like for me to do. I’m trying to silence my own thoughts, trying to discern when God speaks to me and even then I over analyze just to make sure what I’m hearing isn’t wrong. There has been so many ideas/plans I’ve tried to make happen and so far it’s been an okay run. I’m still trying though, I’ll keep giving it a go until I get it right. Only God knows why it’s taking time, somehow I haven’t lost my faith and I’m truly thankful for it. I am an independent beauty consultant for Mary Kay, a blogger and finally starting my YouTube channel. Should one of these be meant for success, I pray to God to remain humble, to use me and the platform to make a difference.

You are more than welcome to check out my channel and page. Thank you! ♥️